


To the Horizon

by nh8343



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Angst, M/M, Post-Apocalypse, some blood, some violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-05
Updated: 2017-08-05
Packaged: 2018-12-11 15:43:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 15,508
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11717439
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nh8343/pseuds/nh8343
Summary: In a world where starvation and armed looters meant every day could be the last, Chanyeol hadn't expected a terrified boy curled up in the back of a pickup truck to be his downfall.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to the prompter for the beautiful prompt. This didn’t turn out how I expected, but I hope I did it justice. [Prompt #19]

 

 

Chanyeol presses himself back against the wall, listening for sounds of pursuit. The voices are still at a distance for now, but if they discover his hiding place, he's as good as dead.

 

He hadn't meant for it to turn out this way. Up until a few minutes ago, he'd been scavenging here in this abandoned village, hoping to replenish some of his supplies. To some extent, he'd been successful, discovering more matches, bandages, and bullets to stuff into his pack. But the food and water he was so desperate to find still eluded him.

 

After the bioweapon released during the war lost control, plant life had cannibalized itself to extinction. That left nothing to eat but manufactured pills and pastes, and even those were in short supply after the factories were shut down. The best chances of finding them were any place people had lived before war. Which is how Chanyeol had ended up here, moving from building to building and hiding to the best of his ability, because there were raiders who had just arrived with the same idea.

 

Hiding is Chanyeol’s only option. There's a hunting rifle strapped across his back, hitting against his pack while he runs, but those bullets are never meant for human targets. The ones who kill their own kind in cold blood are the raiders.

 

A shout sounds from too close by, and suddenly the old storehouse Chanyeol is taking shelter in seems like terrible cover. He slips out the back door, heading for what he hopes will be the last place they'll think to look: the remnants of an old pickup truck parked just outside. One of the front seats is missing, and its body is in a state of total disrepair, but when Chanyeol ducks inside he at least feels safer than before. He watches through tinted windows and hopes he hasn’t made himself an easy target.

 

Except the sound he hears next doesn't come from outside the truck. He's not alone. Chanyeol reaches for the knife at his waist and leans further toward the back seats, muscles tense...only to find a boy curled up on the floor, a hand clapped over his mouth to mask his breathing.

 

The boy's eyes are wide with terror when they meet Chanyeol's own. How did he get here? Who was he? He didn't look bloodthirsty enough to be a raider, not prepared enough to be a scavenger like Chanyeol himself, certainly not raving mad enough to be a carrier. And in this world, if you didn’t match any of those descriptions, there was only one other option: dead.

 

 _Get it together,_ Chanyeol reminds himself. _Now isn't the time to wonder; it's the time to hide._

 

"Please don't kill me," the boy pleads in a terrified whisper.

 

It's the first voice Chanyeol has heard in a long time other than the raiders' crude yelling. He's still wary, but it's hard to believe that the boy is acting when he looks this scared.

 

"Calm down, I promise I'm not going to hurt you. What's your name?"

 

"Baekhyun."

 

He says it so quietly, it's nearly impossible to make out.

 

"Okay, Baekhyun, I'm Chanyeol, and if we both want to get out of this alive, we have to stay hidden and quiet until the raiders are gone. Got it?"

 

The boy nods, still looking terrified but keeping silent as instructed. They wait it out in their shared hiding place while the sounds of raiders scouring the town continue, listening for any approaching footsteps. Only a single pull on his jacket sleeve breaks Chanyeol's concentration. He glances back to see Baekhyun clinging onto the fabric, grounding himself in the fact that there’s someone else with him. Chanyeol can't bring himself to pull away.

 

When the shouts and crashes fade, Chanyeol forces himself to stay still for another minute longer. Assuming anything about the raiders was a surefire way to get them both killed.

 

"It should be safe now," he finally says when the dead silence has stretched on long enough. "I have to go before anyone else decides to show up. I'd suggest you do the same."

 

He moves to get out of the car, but the hand on his jacket doesn’t let go.

 

"Wait," Baekhyun says, desperation coloring his voice. "Let me come with you. I'm trying to get somewhere, but I can't do it on my own and I've been alone for so long and...please."

 

Every instinct yells at Chanyeol to say no. Every nerve pulses with the need to run away from this boy and the change he represents, the threat to Chanyeol's own survival. But when he looks into Baekhyun's eyes...he can't help but see something all too familiar in that fear. He sees himself from what seems like lifetimes ago, just starting to adapt to the wasteland's unforgiving challenges. He sees himself now, still with that same primal fear of making it past every brush with death. And in that single look, for better or for worse, he feels himself tie the two of them inextricably together.

 

"Fine, you can tag along," he agrees before he can stop himself.

 

Baekhyun looks stunned. “Really? You mean it?”

 

When Chanyeol gets out of the car without contradicting him, Baekhyun quickly follows. It's as if he's afraid of the offer going up in smoke if he doesn't stay close.

 

“Thank you,” Baekhyun says sincerely, and Chanyeol can't believe he's actually gone through with this simply out of...what? Misplaced nostalgia? Knee-jerk sympathy?

 

“You look like you’re freezing,” he says in place of an answer, noticing the other's shivering. “Here.”

 

He slips his father's jacket off his shoulders, a last connection to the world lost, and places it over Baekhyun's own. The jacket is far too big for someone with that small of a frame, but it does look endearing. And somehow it’s this image that hits Chanyeol with the implications of his decision: Baekhyun’s life is in his hands. A shiver of his own runs down Chanyeol’s spine.

 

What has he done?

 

~*~

 

_Journal 4, Entry 65._

_City outskirts, Dusk._

 

_I'm either stupid, or too trusting for my own good. Or both. Picking up strangers is not how you survive in the wasteland, but here I am, so I'll deal with it the best I can and hope it doesn't get us both killed._

 

_Baekhyun is...interesting. I can't get a full read on him yet. He's calmed down since the first time we met, stopped jumping at every sudden noise and shadow. But he's still sorely lacking in a lot of the know-how someone needs to survive in these conditions. How he made it this long is a mystery._

 

_My pack of supplies is getting too light. We've set off together to look for more food and water, but I'm not sure if we'll━_

 

"What are you doing?"

 

Chanyeol is suddenly pulled back to reality, to the warm flames of the campfire that contrast so sharply with the cold night air. While making their camp on the threshold of the village’s half-ruined pub provided some protection, it still couldn't change the weather. The artificial pumps meant to replace the planet’s missing greenery were poor replacements for maintaining a stable atmosphere.

 

But about what had gotten Chanyeol's attention before...

 

"This is one of my journals," Chanyeol answers the sudden question. He's not opposed to sharing, but it's still out of his comfort zone to talk about something so personal. "It helps me keep track of the days and when I last ate. But more importantly, I write about what life is like, what I do, what I see. I want there to be a record of the end of the world in case there's someone left to read it."

 

"I could help," Baekhyun offers, looking genuinely interested. "I have lots of stories to add, if you're looking for more."

 

Chanyeol raises an eyebrow. "Really?"

 

Baekhyun seems to take it as a challenge. He launches into a story from a year ago about how he helped make an old village safe for other travelers and scavengers to use as a waystation. He describes in great detail how he tracked the wolves on its outskirts to their nest, discovered a cave along the way that some scavenger had tried to bury their stash of supplies in.

 

"━So then I..." He suddenly trails off, looking at Chanyeol strangely. "Was it something I said?"

 

Chanyeol hadn't realized he'd stopped writing, too absorbed in Baekhyun's story.

 

"Sorry," he apologizes. "It's just a lot to take in. I'm amazed that you've seen so much, that you've..."

 

“Lasted so long?” Baekhyun finishes for him, sarcastic but not angry. "I'll admit that I've gotten lucky. It's been twice now that I've met someone who seems to know what he's doing. Maybe you'll be the one to finally get me to my destination."

 

"And can I ask where that is?"

 

"Sanctuary. It's a place where people are gathering to rebuild, starting over from the wreckage of the war. I was heading there when I ran into you."

 

"Rebuilding? That seems...unlikely," Chanyeol says, carefully choosing his words. He doesn't want to crush Baekhyun's hopes, but he also wants to be honest. "Where did you hear about it?"

 

"The first and last person I traveled with before you. He had a network during the war; they relayed information about Sanctuary to him before they had to go into hiding."

 

"What happened to him? You two split up?"

 

Baekhyun looks away. "He didn't make it."

 

Chanyeol doesn't press any further. Some memories aren't meant to be relived.

 

"But that doesn't make Sanctuary any less real," Baekhyun presses on, shaking the somber moment off. "Think about it: wouldn't you like to be a part of rebuilding a new world? You'd be safe, have a community, and never have to worry about starving again. We could go there together."

 

"That sounds more like a fairytale than a destination. And I’m sorry, but I don't believe in fairytales."

 

"Then where _are_ we going?" Baekhyun asks him, and Chanyeol isn't sure if the pout on the other's face is him just being childish or covering up being genuinely upset.

 

"I'll show you." Chanyeol slips a folded piece of paper out from the back cover of the journal, turning it to show Baekhyun the collection of drawings and notations. "This is my map so far. It shows every place I've been to. I'm scouting out the area around the city in every direction, building a perimeter and filling in the map. And eventually, I'll find a place where I can set up shop. A place that I can see for myself with my own two eyes."

 

"And do what?"

 

For the first time that night, Chanyeol doesn't have an immediate response. He shouldn't feel this unsettled by the question, should he? There's a strange twisting in his gut that he can't put a finger on.

 

"Get some sleep," he says instead. "I'll take first shift."

 

Baekhyun continues giving him a look that Chanyeol chooses to ignore before relenting and bundling up in their single blanket. Restless turning soon fades into even breaths as Baekhyun drifts off to sleep, leaving Chanyeol alone in the silence.

 

Chanyeol stares into the flames of the campfire. And he thinks.

 

~*~

 

It's strange to have another companion besides the usual silence, Chanyeol can't help think. He'd expected things to change, but he hadn't expected it to feel so incredibly unfamiliar. For each day that passes, he slowly starts to learn how this new dynamic will work, how they'll function as a two-part unit in an environment that tended to punish anything but selfishness.

 

They happen across the occasional pre-war structure during their journey, checking for anything of use they can scavenge. It's not highly successful, but they do find plenty of bullets, along with a pistol to replace Baekhyun's own worn weapon. People were already killing each other off during the war, so ammunition was never in short supply, if one knew where to look.

 

The same can't be said for food and water. Chanyeol tracks their days without adequate amounts of both, rationing their dwindling supply and growing increasingly worried. Symptoms of the shortage start to kick in one by one. First it's the extreme thirst, followed by sunken eyes and paper-dry skin. Chanyeol can feel his heart beating too rapidly in his chest, feel the creeping fever that turns his body hot to the touch. But what can he do when there's no food or water to be found?

 

The most noticeable symptom ends up being the irritability that kicks in, flaring whenever a conversation is initiated between the two of them. Chanyeol tries his best to keep his head on straight, knows it's just the hunger talking. He doesn't speak if he's afraid he'll say something he'll regret.

 

But that state of limbo can't last forever. At a certain point, Baekhyun gets fed up with how Chanyeol has chosen to handle things.

 

"This isn't getting us anywhere," Baekhyun tells him point-blank. "We need to go where we have the best chance of finding more supplies, and that's obviously the nearest city."

 

Chanyeol thinks it's a joke at first, turns to the other in disbelief when he realizes it isn't. "Do you even know what's _in_ the city?"

 

"Of course I do," Baekhyun responds rather huffily. "It's probably swarming with carriers. You really think I'd have traveled for this long and never heard of them?"

 

Chanyeol almost wishes he himself had never heard of them, never had to know the terrible history of the creatures left to suffer by mankind's carelessness. The most immediate effect of the war’s bioweapon had been to wipe out plant life, yes, but that wasn't the end. The end came after, when the virus had crept into the food supply and wreaked havoc on the human population. Those who ingested it were turned into carriers, hive-minded mutations that moved quickly and purposefully to spread the infection.

 

"Then if you know so much, you know how dangerous it is. We can't just waltz in and take whatever we want, even assuming there's anything left."

 

"Which I _understand_ , thank you. And I don't appreciate you treating me like a child."

 

Chanyeol is about to argue before he realizes that the words on the tip of his tongue would do nothing but prove Baekhyun right. Fine, maybe he had come off as patronizing. He's a big enough person to admit when he's in the wrong.

 

"I'm sorry," he apologizes, swallowing his pride. "Maybe I'm too used to traveling on my own. I'll...think about it, okay?"

 

Baekhyun looks satisfied, if still a bit put out, and Chanyeol leans back with a sigh. Maybe there are still some things left for him to learn, after all.

 

~*~

 

After a long day of thinking, Chanyeol begrudgingly admits to himself that Baekhyun was right; they have no better option than making a trip into the city to search for food and water. It's not going to be easy. Raiders and carriers could easily bring their journey to a bloody end if they’re outnumbered and overwhelmed. The two of them will have to be quicker and smarter than both groups if they want to make it out alive.

 

They enter the city without incident. It's entirely possible they got lucky and just missed a group of raiders patrolling the walls, but it's still something. Chanyeol keeps his rifle resting in his arms, loaded and ready to defend them from anything. Run-down buildings pass them by on their journey, old offices, shops, places whose names have long been lost to ruin. A strange silence hangs over it all, making it feel somehow removed from the reality they've come to know.

 

Baekhyun looks just as awestruck as Chanyeol feels about seeing everything up close. The last time Chanyeol was in a city, he'd been at a carnival, holding on tight to his father's jacket sleeve and trying not to drop his cotton candy. He sends another glance toward that jacket's new owner and can't help the brief rush of emotion that strikes a chord somewhere in his chest.

 

“What about there?” Baekhyun asks him.

 

"Hmm?" Chanyeol is drawn out of his thoughts, finally noticing the building that Baekhyun has stopped in front of.

 

"This place used to be a supermarket. If we're going to find food somewhere, wouldn't it make sense to look here first?"

 

Chanyeol certainly can't argue with his logic. He shoves the past back into its little box and leads them through the ruined supermarket doors, scanning the bare aisles and abandoned shopping carts with careful eyes. There has to be _something_ left, but it won’t be out in the open, not if others in the city had thought to look here first.

 

"Hey," Chanyeol starts to ask, turning to the other, "Do you think━"

 

There's a carrier standing not five feet in front of him.

 

He has only a second to take in its mutated appearance, its dead eyes and rotting flesh, before it lets out a horrible groan. That same groan echoes off the supermarket walls, more times than Chanyeol can count. He realizes the gravity of what they've stepped into just as others appear as if from nowhere, his finger already poised on the trigger. Baekhyun runs out of the entrance first, protected by the other's covering fire into the horde. Chanyeol guns them down as quickly as he can reload.

 

As soon as a gap appears in the carriers’ waves, Chanyeol runs. He catches up to Baekhyun easily, the latter purposefully slowing down on his head start, and they run with one goal in mind: not here. Their sprint only comes to an end when Chanyeol sees a building he's only heard stories of, one that instinct tells him is an escape.

 

"In here," he calls.

 

They duck inside, listening for sounds of pursuit. Baekhyun's knuckles are white where he grips his pistol, throwing wide-eyed glances toward the entrance.

 

"Watch my back," Chanyeol tells him. "I'll see if there's anything left behind."

 

The markings on the building's exterior had been correct. Chanyeol had never been inside one of the donation centers set up during the war, but he'd heard of them, understood how they worked. They were a small example of human goodness that had ultimately been eclipsed by human destruction. But they had still managed to give food and water out to dying citizens before the virus brought the city to its knees, and that means there might still be some left. Chanyeol hits the jackpot when he kicks open the door to the storage in back, immediately starting to stuff his pack.

 

At precisely the same time, he hears Baekhyun yell, "They're trying to break through the door! It's not going to hold!"

 

“One second, just━!”

 

"Chanyeol, they're coming!"

 

Chanyeol stuffs what's in his hands into the pack, shouts "Follow me!" in Baekhyun's general direction, and they break into a sprint toward the broken emergency exit sign. The carriers give chase behind them, quickening their steps, but hopefully their slight head start will give them the time they need.

 

For the briefest of moments, Chanyeol thinks he hears a faint ' _beep_ ' just before he makes it out the door, chalking it up to nothing more than his adrenaline-heightened senses. And then an explosion goes off behind him, collapsing an entire section of the floor and burying it in the rest of the ruined building. An electronic tripwire. Chanyeol's stomach sinks.

 

"Baekhyun!" he yells into the cloud of smoke and debris.

 

His only answer is the terrible groans of the carriers. Without a second thought, Chanyeol rushes back in, firing shot after shot into the midst of the horde. They stream into the room with jerking movements that he's sure he'll see again in his nightmares, and fall with death knells that are almost worse than the groans of before.

 

Only when every carrier is reduced to an equally horrible mess on the ruined floor does Chanyeol break his single-minded concentration. He re-straps the rifle to his back, calling again with much more audible worry, "Baekhyun?"

 

This time, he can hear a cough sound from below. Chanyeol very carefully works his way down the pile of debris to the lower level, doing his best not to collapse it any further. No other sounds guide him, but at the bottom he finally finds a leg sticking out of the rubble. One great heave later, a block of it falls to the floor in a cloud of dust, revealing a shaken but very alive Baekhyun.

 

"You came back," Baekhyun says, and he sounds so genuinely surprised that Chanyeol is taken aback at how he must have come across.

 

He offers a hand. “Come on, let’s go.”

 

They make their escape, victorious, and Chanyeol wonders if he's imagining it when Baekhyun seems to have started walking much closer to his side.

 

~*~

 

They don't immediately leave the city. Their packs are in much better shape than they were before entering the city's walls, but Chanyeol can't shake the fear of quickly running out again if they leave. A trip this dangerous should be worth it, should give them enough food and water to fill their stores to the brim. So they keep moving, keeping an eye out for more but focusing on staying hidden. Even when they make camp for the nights, they keep it brief, not wanting to stay in one place for too long.

 

One of the first things Chanyeol does is make sure that Baekhyun's wounds from before are cleaned and bandaged. He works carefully and thoroughly, despite the other's hissing protests at the ointment placed on his open scratches. The moment that Chanyeol had run back in to to that building, he'd accepted that Baekhyun was sticking around for a good while, and he intends to keep it that way. Baekhyun can hold his own, sure, and he's not as helpless as he appeared when they first met, but he's ill-prepared to survive. That's something Chanyeol fully intends on helping with.

 

He takes any opportunity he can to show Baekhyun his collection of tools and traps, ranging from a water collection device to sensors and tripwires. They're easy to set up and move from place to place, and Baekhyun is a quick study, replicating Chanyeol's handiwork with results that are far above a novice level. Chanyeol likes to think it's because he's a good teacher. They're working together now, he realizes, not just blindly following Chanyeol's lead. It's not long before Baekhyun's presence becomes as familiar to him as breathing.

 

It takes a few days to pass through the rest of the outskirts before the roads open up into the inner city. Buildings are packed closer together, giving them more cover, and also giving anyone who notices them an infinite number of places to hide. Chanyeol keeps a careful eye out for either raiders or carriers, but it turns out that Baekhyun is the first one to spot another sign of life.

 

“Look, it's a dog!" he says, visibly perking up.

 

Chanyeol follows his point to see the creature padding across the road some distance away. It's been awhile since Chanyeol last saw a stray that wasn't feral from infection. The sight brings on another round of memories he'd almost forgotten, memories of his younger self playing with his neighbor's sheepdog, laughing and running under a blue sky that held so much promise for the future.

 

"Leave it alone. Even the two of us traveling together are a target; three is much too dangerous."

 

Baekhyun looks wistfully after the dog as they continue on, and the pang of guilt that flares in Chanyeol's chest surprises him. He wonders when the other's happiness had become important enough to make him react this way. That train of thought only continues for a short while before it's interrupted by something far more pressing, making him stop in his tracks.

 

"What is it?" Baekhyun asks him. "Something wrong?"

 

Chanyeol studies the landmark in front of them carefully before he answers. A set of stairs leads down under the concrete, the occasional crack and imperfection filtering sunlight into the space below. An underground market, maybe, or just a tunnel built for convenience. There's not enough visible to know for sure.

 

"It will be nightfall soon," he finally says. "In the middle of the city, we should take any extra cover we can get. If this place is empty...it could be perfect. But we need to be careful."

 

The excitement from before is restored to Baekhyun's face. They carefully take the stairs down to the unknown space below, and even before they reach the bottom Chanyeol realizes both of his guesses were wrong: it's a subway station. Most of it is blocked off by rubble, but the distinguishing features are still visible: the ticketing booths, the metal tracks, the beginning of the platform. They marvel at it all as they take the second set of stairs down to the lower floor, a trip that reveals even more nooks and crannies to explore. The subway is like a whole other hidden world.

 

"Can we stay?" Baekhyun asks, looking around in fascination. "For a while?"

 

Chanyeol feels the tug of _Home! Home! Home!_ and can't resist the "Maybe" that escapes his lips. The noose of commitment tightens itself around his body, slipping him back into old habits. "Be careful on the stairs, though," he finds himself lightening the atmosphere. "You're too tiny; legs that short will just make you trip all the way back up and down."

 

Shock comes over Baekhyun's face for a moment (since when did Chanyeol make _jokes_ ?) before he breaks into a beaming smile. "You're worried about _me_ ? Please, you're unnaturally tall. You'll trip over your own feet before you even _get_ to the stairs."

 

Chanyeol snorts at the jab, surprising himself. He has a sudden glimpse of the kind of person Baekhyun might have been before the war, before the wasteland stole his personality along with all the others'. He has a feeling they would have gotten along well.

 

Would they have met even then? The thought makes him wonder, unnerves him when he doesn't know the answer. Even without all this death and desperation, were their paths always destined to cross?

 

~*~

 

Time passes at a slow, easy pace. They start to make the subway their own, set up rain collectors outside the entrance, install Chanyeol's traps, store their supplies. The place starts to feel like it could be a long-term home.

 

Chanyeol finally starts to let down his guard, or at least lets himself relax. It no longer bothers him to follow Baekhyun while the latter pokes around and investigates the many parts of the subway. For once, it's nice to do something simply for the sake of doing it. They find some old coins, some remnants of the old transportation system, but for better or worse, nothing exciting. Most of their time ends up being spent on making the place livable.

 

Nothing out of the ordinary breaks the comfortable new routine they've established until about a week into their stay.

 

They're both in the largest of the subway’s side rooms, the place they've designated as storage. Chanyeol checks on his makeshift water filtering setup, while Baekhyun takes stock of their food rations just like he'd been taught. There's a silence between them, but it's a comfortable one.

 

A faint noise sounding from the upper level interrupts that silence, one that Chanyeol passes off as the wind. Then they hear voices.

 

Baekhyun's hands freeze halfway to picking up another can. "Chanyeol..." he says warily, but the other holds a finger to his lips.

 

"Grab whatever you can and follow me. Don't make any more noise than you have to."

 

Chanyeol has never seen Baekhyun move this quickly, following his lead as they stuff most of their rations and supplies back into their packs. He straps the rifle across his back just as the other secures his pistol in its holster. With careful movements, they peer from their vantage point into the subway’s open interior.

 

There's nothing to see of the intruders yet, but Chanyeol can hear the voices growing closer. They overpower and clash with each other in jarring dissonance, boasting of fighting prowess and spoils yet to be had. Raiders.

 

He taps on Baekhyun's arm twice, and they sneak into the main room, skirting around the fringes while they head toward the staircases. The two sets are the only way up, but it won't mean anything if they're discovered before reaching the exit. When the voices reach the top of one staircase, they duck behind it, waiting for an opening. Except the raiders don't move at all like expected; they immediately fan out and block any escape from cover.

 

"Hey, I found something!" One raider shouts to the others. "The camp is empty, but it's still fresh. There's some other scavy scum here!"

 

Purposeful footsteps sound from all directions of the subway. "You three, cover where we came in!" another raider calls, and proceeds to bark out instructions to sweep the area. To look for Chanyeol and Baekhyun. Panic starts to settle into Chanyeol's bones, but all hope isn't lost: he can see they're within sprinting distance of the ticket booth on this floor. Before he can second-guess himself, he pulls Baekhyun with him in that direction, immediately shutting them inside.

 

The inside of the booth is pitch black, windows having been boarded up long ago. It improves their cover, but it also amplifies every noise, every thought, until each moment is one of increasing terror. Chanyeol’s own breathing is too loud to his ears, even coupled with the hunt outside. If they're discovered...

 

Baekhyun's hand finds Chanyeol's in the darkness. It makes him jump at first, but he holds on tightly to that anchor, warm despite its unfamiliarity. Footsteps move closer outside, and he holds out hope until a shadow looms over them from outside the booth's door. They're going to be found. Chanyeol moves ever so slightly in front of Baekhyun despite the cramped space. If worst comes to worst, he might be able to distract the raiders, protect the other even if━

 

An explosion sounds from the upper level.

 

"We've got a man down!" Someone calls. "Something just blew up out of nowhere!"

 

One of Chanyeol's traps. Setting up those extra tripwires hadn't been paranoid of him, after all.

 

The other raiders rush upstairs to see what's happened for themselves, and Chanyeol seizes on this single chance. He doesn't let go of Baekhyun's hand as they slip out of the ticket booth, legs still jelly from fear. That fear morphs into tentative hope with every stair they scale, every step they take toward the exit opposite the raiders’ gathering place. They're almost free.

 

And then a lone raider appears from the shadows, shotgun pointed directly at them.

 

All the blood drains from Chanyeol's face. His whole world becomes that smirk, an image of cruelty that grows until it's all he can see. It remains even as Chanyeol pictures the raider torturing them for his own amusement, leaving them to bleed out once the novelty fades.

 

The raider starts to call out for the others to come, starts to lock those figurative shackles in place. He takes his eyes off his targets for only a second.

 

And Chanyeol whips out the pistol from Baekhyun's holster and shoots him in the head.

 

The raider crumples to the ground, landing with an impact that echoes whatever inside Chanyeol just cracked in two. Chanyeol's instincts will him to stand there in horror, will him to face what he's done, but there's no time. He mechanically leads the two of them to safety, pack strapped to his back but still feeling like he’s left everything behind.

 

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

 

 

Their campfire that night is far from the subway. It’s still within the city's confines, but Chanyeol can hardly find the drive to keep his eyes peeled for more carriers. He looks down at his shoes and eats his can of rations in silence, feeling the warmth of the flames curl toward his body.

 

All too soon, his spoon hits the metal at the bottom of the can. No more food for today. He sits with his head in his hands and tries to escape, if only for a moment, to some place with brighter colors, softer edges. Some place where his heart is light and his sins are washed clean.

 

The illusion is broken after a long moment by Baekhyun's soft voice asking, "You okay?"

 

The fire crackles in the silence, and the words stick in Chanyeol's throat. He's supposed to be the strong one here. He's supposed to lie and reassure Baekhyun that he's fine. But he still finds himself admitting "No," the word nearly lost in the frigid night air.

 

“No,” he says again, stronger now that he’s stepped off that edge. "I feel like a monster. All this time, I've never killed another person. I didn’t want to be like _them_ , someone who kills for sport and throws away their humanity. But now...I’m just as bad as they are."

 

"You're not," Baekhyun cuts in, insistent. "And you're not a monster. Killing someone to save our lives is different than doing it out of cruelty."

 

“Then tell me that you still look at me the same way.”

 

Baekhyun hesitates a second too long. When he does open his mouth to speak, Chanyeol shakes his head. "Don't answer that."

 

He's not sure which would be worse to hear spoken aloud: the lie or the horrible truth. Baekhyun stays silent for a long moment before he speaks up again.

 

“You’re not a monster,” he repeats in a whisper.

 

Chanyeol wants nothing more than to believe him.

 

~*~

 

_Journal 4, Entry 89._

_Outer city, Dusk._

 

_I don't have time for this. Every moment I spend feeling sorry for myself is time better spent on staying alive. But it won't stop eating me up inside, no matter how hard I try to compartmentalize and deal with it when I'm not in the center of a carrier hotspot. I feel sick._

 

_Baekhyun's been trying to distract me with stories. He tells me about his family before the war, about the trips they used to take to the same campground every summer, about the trouble he insisted on getting into. I appreciate what he's doing, and I can't deny that I've enjoyed listening. But stories don't stop the nightmares._

 

_They come to me every night, as soon as I manage to fall asleep. Sometimes I only have to relieve killing that raider in the subway. Sometimes I'm one of them, and I murder innocent people while they beg me for their lives. Pulling the trigger is too easy in both real life and in my dreams. And that's why it scares me so much that I've started seeing Baekhyun's face on the man I kill._

 

_How could it be so easy to become like them?_

 

~*~

 

They head out of the city the next day, and not a moment too soon. Chanyeol has no desire to stay in this place when every collapsed building and worn path brings back memories of the blood on his hands. He pulls out his map only minutes into their journey, not wanting to spend a minute more than necessary to get out. Baekhyun wanders around the town square just ahead of him while Chanyeol focuses, taking in the sights that the two of them may never see again.

 

"Hey, look at that!" Baekhyun calls to him, sounding nostalgically upbeat. "It's the same dog from before. The one I saw when we came into the city."

 

"We still can't keep it."

 

Chanyeol is admittedly only half-paying attention to Baekhyun's discovery. His eyes are studying the map, tracing his finger along possible routes out of the city. There's an exponential number of exits, but it all depends on where they head next for another supply run. If they detour through the fields due north, they can head toward━

 

“Chanyeol,” Baekhyun says suddenly. There's a strange note in his voice, one that immediately pulls Chanyeol's focus.

 

The dog is much closer than before. With how much Baekhyun had wanted to take it along with them, Chanyeol finds himself confused at the other's demeanor. He's frozen and stiff, staring straight ahead at the dog with what seems like...

 

No, Chanyeol sees it, too. Something is wrong. The dog's tongue is lolling out of its mouth, head propped at a disconcerting angle. It looks at Baekhyun with crazed eyes and bared teeth.

 

"Don’t make any sudden moves,” Chanyeol says in a low voice. “It looks like the carriers finally got to it."

 

It's with an unspoken agreement that they time their steps together, moving backwards from this new threat. The dog continues to twitch and growl, but it doesn't follow them. Chanyeol almost thinks they're going to get away. And then Baekhyun steps on a discarded can, crunching the metal and losing his balance. The dog lunges.

 

Chanyeol moves on instinct. He draws his gun and races toward Baekhyun as fast as his legs will carry him, pushing the other out of the way. When he fires, he's shocked to be the one feeling pain, pain that blooms in his left arm as the dog sinks its teeth in. It draws a yell from his lips even as he fires again, dropping the rifle from his hands and bringing him to his knees.

 

The second bullet hits its mark. The dog falls to the ground, dead. But no matter how lethal, bullets don't undo the past. Chanyeol looks down at the brand of doom on his forearm in horrified fascination, not able to fully wrap his brain around what's happened.

 

“Chanyeol, are you━?”

 

“Don’t touch me!”

 

Baekhyun stops immediately, hand still outstretched to check the other man's condition. When he sees the teeth marks, his breath visibly catches.

 

"It bit me," Chanyeol tells him, hardly believing it himself. "And since it's now a part of the carriers' breeding ground, there's a good chance that━AGH!!"

 

He breaks off with a yell, feels a sharp pain by the marks. He can sense the virus, the same one that's taken and twisted so many lives, start to take control of every nerve, every muscle, every inch of flesh it can find, his body starting to cannibalize itself without a source of nutrition. The wave leaves a trail of destruction in its wake, turning his hand and wrist black and sickly.

 

 _Oh god, oh god, I'm going to die_ , Chanyeol thinks, but says instead, "I think we both know what happens next."

 

"But━"

 

"Believe me, this is about the last thing I want. But if the virus spreads past my arm, I'm dead.”

 

Baekhyun looks like he's about to have a full-on panic attack, eyes blown wide and limbs locked in place. When Chanyeol cries out again, the trance seems to break. He kneels next to him, asking, "What do I need to do?"

 

“The machete is in my bag,” Chanyeol tells him through gritted teeth, shrugging it off his shoulder. "There should also be ━AGH!━ rubbing alcohol and morphine in the front."

 

Baekhyun takes the pack as wide-eyed and shaking as he was during their first meeting, but Chanyeol's view is suddenly lost. Another wave of pain overwhelms him, finally bringing him all the way down the ground. All that remains of his awareness is sensations. He feels the virus spreading, reaching his elbow, but doesn't dare to move the infected limb. He feels the cool tingle of Baekhyun sanitizing a ring around his upper arm, feels a strip of fabric tied tight around it, and hears him asking shakily, "Do you...the whole arm?"

 

His voice jumps an octave, but Chanyeol can't see his expression. He has his other arm thrown over his face, praying to every deity he can think of that not looking will somehow make this less horrifying. Why hadn't he ever read up on dissociating before settling into the life of a scavenger? It would have helped him on more than one occasion, this time most of all.

 

“Please, just get it over with. Fast.”

 

Chanyeol doesn't remember much of what happens next. He's done his best to erase the memories entirely. But vague recollections still remain: flashes of his own screams that almost drown out Baekhyun's broken apologies, flashes of unimaginable pain despite the chemicals shot into his body, flashes of losing and gaining consciousness in constant succession, only to see his own blood spattered on the ground. Glimpses into Hell itself.

 

When Chanyeol finally comes to, he's in some sort of ruined building. Cobwebs dangle from rotting wood, and the ceiling has started to cave in three different places. But it's still shelter, still better than being left out in the open city.

 

A dull pain still pulses in his arm, but he can feel the full effect of the painkillers Baekhyun has shot him up with, putting a wall between him and that terrible agony from before. And speaking of Baekhyun...he's suddenly at Chanyeol's side, fussing over him with incomprehensible murmurs of reassurance. He grips Chanyeol's hand just too tightly to be comfortable.

 

“Where...?” Chanyeol slurs out, but Baekhyun shushes him silent.

 

"There's no need to talk yet. We're near the edge of the city, and we can move out whenever you're strong enough. The only thing you need to do is get some more rest, okay?"

 

Chanyeol nearly falls back asleep right then and there. The temptation is powerful. But he can't help but notice that something about the other is off, even through his anesthetic haze. He reaches out to touch the bare skin of Baekhyun's arm, hoping the unspoken question will get across, and guilt flashes on Baekhyun's face.

 

"There was nothing else to stop the bleeding. I tried to save your jacket afterwards, but...there was just so much blood. So I cut it up and made a sling for your arm, instead."

 

Chanyeol closes his eyes and takes a deep breath, feels the severing of his only connection to a life that hardly seems like his own anymore. He knew it had to happen someday, but that doesn't make it sting any less.

 

“I’m sorry. I know how much it meant to you. But…” Baekhyun's grip on Chanyeol’s hand tightens. “I’m just so glad you’re alive. There was a moment when I thought I lost you, and that it was all my fault, and....”

 

He trails off, voice wavering dangerously, and instinct drives Chanyeol to reach out and hold him. Except...he can't. Not like he wants to. He's one limb short of the body he's known for over twenty-three years.

 

The loss hits him like a bullet, dissociating his mind from its flesh for the briefest of moments, before Baekhyun realizes what he's trying to do. Baekhyun leans into that touch, embraces him anyway, and Chanyeol wraps his one good arm around him as tightly as he can.

 

He appreciates that Baekhyun doesn't comment on his shaking.

 

~*~

 

_Journal 4, Entry 90._

_City outskirts, Dusk._

 

_It's taken some time, but I'm finally deemed well enough to travel, finally able to get out of here. Maybe I should feel lucky that I lost an arm and not a leg. I don't know. I'm just glad to be rid of the city, hopefully for the last time in a while. We'll continue following my pattern before our food shortage, mapping out the area and trying to find somewhere to make permanent camp. I was an idiot to think that's what the subway could have been._

 

_And as for what happened to me...I don't know what to say. It was hard enough trying to survive without being crippled like this. I try and try to adjust, but I just end up feeling useless and frustrated. The sling Baekhyun made keeps the healing part of my arm protected, but I still feel like I'm missing something important. I AM missing something important._

 

_The worst part? I have to depend on Baekhyun for help now, let him do more things for both of us that he shouldn't have to. It's my duty to protect him, not the other way around. I feel like I've failed him entirely._

 

_If my chances of survival were slim before, I'd hate to know what they are now. How am I supposed to think about our future when I can't see myself making it another few weeks?_

 

~*~

 

Another leg of their journey, another campfire. The two of them set up for the night under a rocky overhang, hoping to hide at least some of the light and smoke that might draw attention. Rations are broken out, and they settle into their usual routine.

 

But while their campfires had always been a source of calm for the two travelers, a chance to collect their thoughts and rest, Chanyeol now finds it to be the polar opposite. His can of processed dinner lies balanced between his legs on the ground. His one arm spoons up the brown paste and shovels it down his throat. And every other time, the can wobbles and falls, frustrating him to no end when he doesn't have another limb to pick it up again. It's such a little thing, so incredibly trivial, but it's the last straw on top of a heap of struggles that have been eating him up inside.

 

When the can tips over one more time, Chanyeol snaps. He throws both the can and the spoon to the ground, swearing, and Baekhyun jolts at the sudden noise, looking at him with wide eyes.

 

Chanyeol takes a deep breath. "I know this was a safe place for you," he says. "I was convenient because I could help keep you alive. But now that I'm a liability...I'll understand when you go off your own. Just leave me a loaded gun when you leave."

 

If he's being honest with himself, he's not sure if he intends the bullets for the raiders. That should scare him more than it does.

 

“I’m not leaving,” Baekhyun tells him matter-of-factly. The shock on his face is gone now, hidden beneath a mask of calm.

 

"You don't have to lie to me."

 

"I'm serious. I'm not going anywhere." Baekhyun sets his spoon back into the half-finished can, setting it aside to give Chanyeol his full attention. "I understand that it's harder for you now, but that doesn't mean you're dead weight. Far from it. I haven't considered leaving even once."

 

Chanyeol still can't understand _why_.

 

"How am I not just holding you back? I've stood in your way of getting to Sanctuary since day one."

 

"You're only standing in my way because you don’t understand why I want to go.”

 

"Then make me understand," Chanyeol insists, surprising himself with the intensity of the words. He still doesn't believe in the other's myth of safety, not really, but right now he could use anything to hold onto.

 

Baekhyun gives him a long, steady look, seeming to make up his mind. And then he grabs his pack, the one that Chanyeol has never thought to give a second glance, and unzips the top compartment. Scattered impressions reach Chanyeol's eyes of wired contraptions, sensors, what might even be solar-powered panels. But those don't seem to be Baekhyun's goal. He pulls another object out from that compartment of tinkered curiosities, one that sends chills down Chanyeol's spine.

 

A plant.

 

And suddenly, a lot of things about Baekhyun make perfect sense. They converge with perfect clarity: his unfailing hope, his insistence to reach a destination that might not even exist, the protective way he’d reached for his pack at the first sign of danger in the subway. Chanyeol has so many questions, he can't figure out where to start. Instead, Baekhyun does the speaking for him.

 

"When the bioweapon first started to spread," Baekhyun says quietly, "the person I traveled with...he planned ahead. He kept this one plant uncontaminated, locked inside our safehouse. And when it got too dangerous to stay, he rigged his pack up with pre-war technology so that we could bring it along and keep it safe. You already know that he didn't make it. But that didn't mean his legacy had to die with him."

 

He takes a deep breath before carefully placing the plant back into its resting place. "It was our dream to bring this to Sanctuary," he continues. "We could be protected there, work on bringing back the green that's been sucked out of the world. And because of you, I'm closer to making that dream come true. I've learned so much, seen so much, and..."

 

He trails off for a moment, breaking eye contact.

 

"Of all the people who could have found me, I'm glad it was you."

 

The words almost go over Chanyeol's head, almost pass by him unaffected. But there's something about the way Baekhyun averts his eyes and picks at his one thumbnail, something about the way that he seems to simultaneously anticipate and brace himself for Chanyeol's response. _Something_. And that something sets off every alarm inside his body, crescendoing into a high-pitched whine that makes his heart drop to his feet.

 

This wasn't supposed to happen. In a world like this one, it was dangerous to feel that way about someone. And for someone in Chanyeol’s situation? He’s practically a walking time bomb of heartbreak and despair.

 

But Chanyeol shows no outward signs of his own personal breakdown. He passes it off with a crooked smile and says, "So am I," voice sounding thin and strange to his own ears.

 

Sirens and warning lights continue to go off in his head, shrill against the backdrop of the silent wasteland.

 

~*~

 

_Journal 4, Entry 96_

_City outskirts, Nightfall._

 

_What am I doing?_

 

_I thought I would just let him tag along until he got bored, keep him safe for as long as it lasted. But the things he said...have I been an idiot? Am I doing anything more than going in circles, getting nowhere and leading him on? I never expected..._

 

_Shit._

 

_What have I done?_

 

~*~

 

When Chanyeol carefully takes a scissors to Baekhyun's overgrown bangs a few days later, those thoughts still haven't escaped his head.

 

After Baekhyun had first asked him to do it, Chanyeol hadn't understood. Why bother with a haircut when the wasteland would ruin it within a day? But then Baekhyun had explained: they'd both been shaving along the way, not wanting to get any more dust and sand stuck to their bodies than they had to, but that was for necessity. A haircut was something one chose, different from blindly chopping it off when it started to get in the way.

 

It was the one luxury Baekhyun wanted to allow himself in a place that didn't permit luxuries, and Chanyeol had immediately agreed. He'd be lying if he said it was because of the explanation alone; in all honesty, he wanted to prove to himself that there was something he could still do.

 

Chanyeol leans in to check if his work is even. Fingers pull either side of the other's bangs down to identical levels one after another, impressive considering his incredibly novice skills, and...

 

Baekhyun is looking at him intently, with an expression he can't read. It makes Chanyeol nervous in a way he can't afford, and he finds himself quickly leaning back.

 

"All done," he says. "You'll just have to trust me on this, but it looks nice."

 

Baekhyun smiles at him, running a hand through his hair and nodding in satisfaction. "Thanks. You want me to do yours?"

 

"I'll do it later myself." That's probably the last thing Chanyeol needs right now. "There's more important things to do with our time, like finally teaching you to fire a better gun: my hunting rifle."

 

"I don't want to take something that belongs to you," Baekhyun tells him, hesitant.

 

Chanyeol waves off his concern, shoving down the despair he feels for a passing moment. He doesn't have the freedom to be sentimental.

 

"Give me your pistol, and you can have the rifle. It takes two hands to fire, and I...yeah. Not really an option now."

 

"Only if you're sure."

 

With Chanyeol's half-hearted nod, they make the swap. The only thing that allows Chanyeol to release the grip he has on his old weapon is that he knows it can help protect Baekhyun now. It will still do what he himself no longer seems to be able to. Isn't that worth the loss?

 

Baekhyun holds it with unsure hands, trying to figure out how to handle it correctly.

 

"Lift it higher," Chanyeol instructs. "Higher ━no, not that high━ and brace it on.... No, your balance is all off. The kickback will knock you over if you stand like that."

 

The lost look on Baekhyun's face says even more than his floundering movements. Chanyeol tries to mime the correct way for him, but it's hard to demonstrate a two-handed hold when he can only show half of it at a time. Frustration builds in his chest, threatening to let itself out in an explosion that he's sure he'll regret later. This whole idea is looking more useless by the second.

 

Baekhyun must sense Chanyeol's thoughts, because he soon lowers the gun, looking at the other guiltily. "I'm sorry I can't do it correctly," he apologizes.

 

Chanyeol shakes his head, slowly defusing. "It's not you I'm angry with."

 

Baekhyun doesn't seem to know what to say to that, so Chanyeol saves him from responding. He moves forward to correct Baekhyun's form himself, using his arm to nudge the other's stance one way or the other. When Baekhyun finally fires, starting a bit from the unexpected kickback, he looks fittingly proud of himself.

 

Maybe he can survive just fine on his own, after all.

 

~*~

 

They reach a safehouse a few days into their journey, in quite a literal sense. The structure appears to be an old farmhouse, small but promising. When their careful search reveals no other residents, they decide to make camp and regroup.

 

The interior of the house is relatively untouched by the end times. Chanyeol could almost see them staying permanently if it wasn't still too close to the city. It has windows too high up for a break-in, most of a kitchen, and all of its walls still standing. And most importantly, it has an actual bed with an actual mattress, which they both gratefully fall into for some much-needed rest. There are no shifts on watch tonight; a bolted and barricaded door lets them sleep soundly.

 

When Chanyeol wakes up the next morning, the word is hazy and warm. Sunlight streams in through the narrow windows near the ceiling, beams dancing across the floor. It's almost surreal how pre-war it feels. Like something out of a dream, a storybook.

 

But something is wrong. Chanyeol lazily stretches his arm out to the other side of the bed, only to find that its previous resident is absent. He's alone. Panic starts to set in for the briefest of moments before Baekhyun comes bounding into the room, hair an unkempt mess and a wide grin stretched across his face.

 

“Guess what I found?” he asks without preamble, and Chanyeol doesn't have time to offer a sleepy reply before Baekhyun half-drags him out of bed, guiding his weary footsteps into the other room.

 

Baekhyun gestures excitedly to some object at the back wall, and it takes Chanyeol a long moment to process what exactly he's looking at. Some kind of old cassette player, maybe? It's not just pre-war; it predates modern electronics. What he does recognize is the familiar setup of wires branching out from the machine and up to the ceiling, attached to solar panels outside. It's a strange juxtaposition of the old and the new, one that gives this place even more character.

 

"Watch this," Baekhyun tells him. He takes a single tape off the stack, blows a cloud of dust of its top, and inserts it into the player. He presses the play button once, and with a flicker, it comes to life. Music fills the room. Chanyeol is hit with a wave of nostalgia, a longing for something he can't name.

 

And then Baekhyun starts to sing.

 

The strangest thing starts to happen at the sound of his voice. It touches a place deep inside Chanyeol, turning that longing into something lethal. Maybe it's the innocence of the moment, the cold truth that he can never return to the way things were, maybe just the memory of how much has been lost...it's too much. Chanyeol turns away from the terrible beauty in that voice, and he weeps.

 

Baekhyun stops singing almost immediately. The cassette player is silenced with a _click_. All that remains is the sound of Chanyeol falling apart and Baekhyun standing quietly at his side, stuck somewhere between wanting to understand but not wanting to intrude. But how could he understand, really, when Chanyeol can't even put into words what pushed him over the edge?

 

The tears don't stop entirely. They remain even when his sobs fade away to nothing. But once Chanyeol has a hold of himself, no matter how tenuous, he doesn't let them stop him from reaching out for a lifeline. He puts his arm around Baekhyun and holds him in a long embrace.

 

“I’ll take you to Sanctuary,” Chanyeol finally gets out, reassembling the broken pieces of his voice. "I'm sorry it took this long, but I'll make sure you get there safely. That's a promise."

 

Baekhyun's fingers curl tighter into the fabric of Chanyeol's shirt. When he lets out a deep sigh of relief, Chanyeol can feel it run through his body like a tidal wave, feel the emotion behind it.

 

“Thank you.”

 

~*~

 

_Journal 4, Entry 103._

_Wasteland, Mid-morning._

 

_It's really happening. We've packed as much food and water from the farmhouse's cellar as we can, since it sounds like the journey to Sanctuary could take us far from any area I know. And that's not to mention that we're heading due west, straight into the path of the sun, where it will be infinitely more dangerous to scavenge for anything we need. If we thought traveling was dangerous before...it will be nothing in comparison to what lies ahead._

 

_And then there's him, Baekhyun. Maybe I've always known from the moment we met that I'd throw my life away for someone like him. When I've been looking so long for some reason to hold on, how could I not, now that I've finally found it? He and that plant are the only hope for a future in this Hell we've found ourselves in, and I'm going to get him there no matter the cost. I'll burden myself with all the harsh decisions, all the corners we might have to cut to survive._

 

_Then I'll take all that bad karma we've collected to my grave. I'll cleanse him from its stain, let him thrive wherever he ends up. He can take my journal, take my maps, and maybe years in the future he can look back on our time together and remember me fondly. More fondly than I deserve._

 

_The only part that surprises me is how unsurprised I am. Shouldn't this be some big revelation? Some new awakening? It still is, in a way, but I think I've been leading myself here all along. Subconsciously teaching him to survive so that he can go on without me, distancing myself so that I won't get too attached. Even if I'm imagining things, it doesn't matter now. The way ahead of me is clear: I have one sole purpose, and that's getting him to safety._

 

_I won't allow myself to fail._

 

 

 


	3. Chapter 3

 

 

As is the rule of the wasteland, it doesn't let them relax for long. Before, they'd been purposeful about how long they stayed outdoors; now there's no cover to be found, and the contamination in the atmosphere is making them pay for it. What starts as a mild cough persists until their lungs ache with the effort, breath coming up short on more than one occasion. It's tempting to pause the journey and recover, but the only way through it is to keep going, throats hoarse and chests aching.

 

Chanyeol is almost tempted to believe it's punishment. Two mornings now he's woken up before dawn, slipping away without Baekhyun's knowledge to scout the area ahead. Two mornings he's kept to the darkness while killing each and every raider in the vicinity without hesitation. And worst of all, two mornings he's lied to Baekhyun's face when asked if everything is okay.

 

"Of course," he insists with a practiced smile. He hopes the other can't see the light dying slowly behind his eyes, the stain that he's sure must be somehow visible on his conscience. That pain should remain his own.

 

But Chanyeol's feelings aren't what matter right now. He will do whatever it takes to keep Baekhyun safe. He will become whatever kind of monster is necessary to match those with years of blood on their hands.

 

He will make himself irredeemable, so that he has no reservations about finally saying goodbye.

 

~*~

 

The conditions outside don't improve as they continue onward. A storm starts to pick up, wind and dust fighting against their progress. When sand dunes give way to rocks, revealing a cave amongst their ranks, they take the opportunity to escape the storm's wrath.

 

Chanyeol is worried that some other creature will have picked this hiding spot, but the small space is thankfully empty. They sit as far away as they can get from the entrance, back where the dust and sand mostly avoids blowing in, and start to wait out the storm.

 

Shadows from the debris dance over the ground. A strange whine echoes throughout the cave's hollowed-out space. But knowing that they're not alone somehow makes everything less eerie than it would otherwise be. Chanyeol finds that time passes in strange increments as his focus drifts in and out. He sees Baekhyun interlocking his fingers to make shadow puppets on the wall, watches him with absorbed interest.

 

When the storm finally sounds like it's died down, they leave their refuge behind, venturing back out into the world. But instead of faded wasteland, the sight that greets them makes Chanyeol's eyes go wide. The dust and sand isn’t gone; it still blows with the storm off in the distance and high up in the air, filtering the sunlight into scattered beams. The entire world is hazy and discolored, strangely beautiful in a way he can't express. For a while, they do nothing but stand in place to take it all in.

 

"It's nice to know the world can still be beautiful," Baekhyun says softly. "Kind of like it's still fighting for us, you know? Telling us to keep going, even after all we've done to it." He holds a hand up to trace through the sunbeams in quiet wonder, and Chanyeol basks in the moment for all but a fleeting second before he recognizes the feeling that tugs at his heartstrings in response, stomach sinking.

 

He focuses again on that vast expanse of sky, imagines himself carried away by the dust.

 

~*~

 

_ Journal 4, Entry 122. _

_ Wasteland, Dusk. _

 

_ I suppose, in retrospect, I should have seen this coming. _

 

_ Part of me wants to keep dancing around it, pretending nothing has changed. But it's time to face the facts. I'll keep it to myself, of course, keep it hidden. Baekhyun finding out will only bring him more pain. That still doesn't change the truth of it all, what I know now for certain. _

 

_ I'm in love with him, and that's going to make it even harder to let him go. _

 

~*~

 

Aching heart or not, the journey has to go on. Chanyeol shoves his feelings down into the deepest parts of himself, thinking of anything else as they continue on their way.

 

The landscape flattens out, plains and rolling hills replacing the sharp ridges and scattered buildings they'd grown so accustomed to. It seems they've traveled far enough from the city and its surrounding area that there’s no longer the threat of raiders or carriers, only the occasional wild animal. On a hunch, Chanyeol follows a set of those animal tracks up the indentation of a dry riverbed, digging for groundwater at their source. The liquid that pools up in return almost makes him optimistic about the leg of their journey still ahead of them.

 

It seems like an entirely different world this far out in the wasteland. Chanyeol does his best to find something comforting in leaving all he knows behind, walking blindly into uncharted territory. He focuses on the breathtaking vistas, the surreal feeling of being first to step foot here in years, and not how dangerous it might become.

 

It this is going to be his final journey, at least it's one with a beautiful view.

 

~*~

 

Campfires are not the same heart-to-hearts they used to be. It's strange to have something so familiar change into something so...not. But it's also nice, Chanyeol thinks, to have some time for quiet self-reflection, to stare into the flames as they lick against the wood. The silence is a comfortable one. Which is why it's so surprising when Baekhyun breaks it.

 

“You’ve been distant lately,” Baekhyun says suddenly, voice loud in the silence.

 

He doesn't look directly at Chanyeol. That's the only reason the other is safe even when he can't hide his surprise fast enough to play it off. An alarm rings somewhere in the back of his mind, drowning out the beginnings of an excuse, and he finds that he doesn't know quite what to say.

 

“Have I?”

 

Baekhyun still doesn't look Chanyeol's way when he nods. "For a while now you've been quiet and gloomy. At first, I thought it was something I did, that somehow it was my fault. But then I read this."

 

When he reaches into his pack and shows what reading material he's referring to, it's the last thing Chanyeol expects. His initial dread at the first sight of an all-too-familiar cover is soon replaced by an anger he can't swallow.

 

"That's my  _ private _ journal for a reason. What the hell are you doing with it?"

 

"I didn't recognize it from the cover," Baekhyun insists. "It must have fallen out of your pack, because it was just lying on the ground. When I opened to the middle to see what it was, when I read the things you've been writing recently...I'm worried about you, okay?"

 

“Being worried still doesn’t give you permission to look through my things!”

 

“Don’t talk to me about permission!” Baekhyun snaps, anger darkening his features.

 

Chanyeol has never seen him this angry. Troubled, yes. Annoyed, more times than he'd like to remember. But never like the fire of a hundred nuclear suns is burning just behind his eyes, ready to send its wrath raining down upon the one unfortunate enough to meet that gaze.

 

" _ You _ ," Baekhyun says, temper barely restrained, "are the one making decisions that affect both of us without asking for my opinion or my permission. I'm sure you think you're being a hero, being real noble. But you're not a hero for this, damn it. You're suicidal."

 

Baekhyun's voice cracks, betraying his true feelings. He's upset, yes, but not truly angry. And somehow that makes it worse.

 

“You know how I feel about you,” he continues. The words are broken now, weapons with splintered corners. “How did you ever think this would make me happy, wanting so badly to throw your life away?”

 

“I was just trying to protect━”

 

“Protect me!? Chanyeol, I’m not something fragile that you can just lock away! I'm made of flesh, blood, and plenty of mistakes. And I have the right to make choices for myself."

 

What can he possibly say to that? Words upon words run through his mind, none seeming adequate.

 

“I’m sorry,” he finally settles on, but the apology feels like plastic, bitter on his tongue.

 

Baekhyun stands, then, and for a moment it seems like he's going to walk away. But instead, he comes to sit down on the other side of the campfire, takes Chanyeol's hands in in his own. And looks into his eyes not with that illusion of rage, but with a loaded sincerity that threatens to pierce Chanyeol straight to the core.

 

“Your life means something,” Baekhyun says to him, wills him to understand how much he means those words.

 

Chanyeol's lips curl into a bitter smile. "It doesn't, not really. In the end, I'll just be another soul lost to the wasteland and its cruelty. I'm no different than every other scavenger trying to survive."

 

"Stop it. You rose above what the world threw at you. You're a good person."

 

"I shot a man and lost an arm for it. I won't survive with what I'm willing to do to get you to Sanctuary."

 

There are tears pricking at the corners of Baekhyun's eyes, threatening to spill as he angrily shakes his head. "Why do you insist on separating your survival and mine? Why is it set in stone that we can't both make it there and be happy together?"

 

“You must have read why,” Chanyeol says pointedly, sounding more spiteful than he intended. “We’re not making it there without a few more sacrifices. I’ve chosen to shoulder those sacrifices and free you from their burden.”

 

"Will you stop that!? You're the only one forcing yourself to be a martyr, drowning yourself in self-constructed blame. I don’t  _ want  _ you to sacrifice yourself for me.”

 

_ I don't want you to sacrifice yourself for me. _

 

_ Don't WANT you to. _

 

_ Then what was this all for? _

 

When, Chanyeol wonders, will pieces of himself stop breaking? He feels a crack split down his middle like lighting, and all at once, the illusions he harbored fall to fragments. When had living a life without direction become so much more terrifying than throwing it away? The tears on his face are more than proof of that accusation.

 

"But, Baekhyun..." Chanyeol finally says. He can't wipe those tears away, not when both his hands are clinging onto the other's like a lifeline. "I finally had a purpose, something to live for. If I don't have this...what do I have left?"

 

"You had something to die for, not a purpose." Baekhyun's voice wavers only once. "We have the plant, we have a destination, and we have each other. That's all the hope we need."

 

Chanyeol still stares at him, lost, and Baekhyun sets his jaw in determination.

 

“And if I have to be your reason to live…”

 

He laces their fingers together before leaning closer, eyelids fluttering shut. When the distance between them disappears, what breaks inside Chanyeol this time is a dam. Emotions pour from some deep wellspring, squeezing his chest too tight and taking his breath away. He didn't think it was possible to simultaneously feel so alive and like any moment could be his last.

 

"Then so be it," Baekhyun whispers against his lips. "But you have to stay alive."

 

And finally, Chanyeol sees. He sees the two of them against the morning sun, casting shadows that are intertwined as tightly as their hands. He sees himself working toward that future step by grueling step, not only hoping for Baekhyun to live the life both of them wanted. That future is still bright in Chanyeol's mind when Baekhyun kisses him again and again, deeper still, filling that void inside his chest with love and purpose.

 

“Now you can never leave,” Baekhyun will murmur in his ear later, curled up against him under that too-thin blanket. He'll reach out to grasp Chanyeol's hand in the dark, looking up at him with a smile that Chanyeol wants to keep there forever.

 

And Chanyeol will finally allow himself to hope.

 

~*~

 

There's a shift in their journey now, a change in the atmosphere that Chanyeol can't name. He's still getting used to the way Baekhyun looks at him with unguarded emotion, the easy way he kisses Chanyeol goodnight before handing off his shift. It's strange for him to be open about anything he feels, much less what he feels for someone else. But Baekhyun is patient as always, giving him more time than he probably deserves.

 

_ No, that's not right _ , he corrects himself.  _ He's giving me time, and that's the end of it. If I stop telling myself I'm not worth it, maybe I'll stop thinking it, too. _

 

In time, they come across their first sign of civilization since the farmhouse. The ruined village is easy to spot on the horizon, and they beeline toward it immediately, both for curiosity's sake and in hope of a refill for their limited supplies. But up close, there's something off. The village isn’t a victim of decay and disrepair; something more threw it into its current state of ruin.

 

"What happened here?" Baekhyun wonders aloud.

 

Chanyeol looks at the charred remnants of what used to be people's homes, the absence of the crater he'd been expecting in the village's center, and realizes this is an answer he knows.

 

"Firebombed. Targeting civilians during the war was an easy way to lower morale; you set a few houses ablaze and the fire does the rest. Not that it stopped anyone from fighting."

 

"That's...horrible. Why did I never know?"

 

"I wouldn't either, if it hadn't happened to me." Images flash in Chanyeol's mind that he would rather forget. "My neighborhood was firebombed, too, just before the bioweapon made taking sides irrelevant. I got out in time...my father wasn't so lucky."

 

There's a moment of silence before Baekhyun says quietly, “I’m so sorry."

 

Chanyeol pulls at the fabric of the ruined jacket that makes up his sling, running his fingers along the pattern at the edges. He thinks of the love that went into every stitch as his grandmother had sewed it, thinks of his father's warm smile when he'd worn it, and feels nostalgia run through him rather than sadness.

 

"The war didn't discriminate with who was killed. He just happened to be one of the unlucky millions dead before they could see the end times. But I still have his memories, and I came to terms with it a while ago."

 

That doesn't stop him from squeezing Baekhyun's hand one more time before they continue onward, grateful for the other's concern. They remain side by side as they walk through the rest of the village's ruins, passing by more charred structures and scorched ground. Chanyeol had never returned to his own neighborhood after narrowly escaping its destruction, and one look at this place makes him grateful he hadn't.

 

And then suddenly, the village stops. It comes to a jarring halt at the edge of a sharp cliff, one that drops off into a canyon with its bottom hidden somewhere beneath a blanket of fog. The gradual increase in elevation might have masked the canyon before, but now they can see it for what it really is: a deep scar in the ground that runs as far as they can see in either direction. There doesn't appear to be any way around it, only the makeshift wooden bridge running across it from the village's edge.

 

"I'll go first," Chanyeol volunteers. "Don't get on until I tell you it's safe."

 

"What did I tell you about taking risks for me without asking?"

 

"That's not what this is. I just━" He takes one look at Baekhyun's frown and realizes the other isn't wrong. "Okay, fine. Together. But let me take the first step?"

 

Baekhyun concedes with a nod, and Chanyeol takes one tentative step onto the bridge. The wooden plank creaks in protest as he puts more of his weight on it, bracing himself against one of the side ropes, but the bridge remains together. A slight sway is the only visible evidence of the strain he's putting on its supports.

 

"It seems like it'll hold," he finally says. "But be careful."

 

"Alright, then. Here goes nothing."

 

Baekhyun's words are more confident than he sounds. He follows just behind Chanyeol, and they take one careful step after another as they slowly make their way across. Chanyeol doesn't dare look down, not for a second. If he even considers how far the drop is, he doesn't think his legs will carry him the rest of the way.

 

"So, what do you think Sanctuary will be like?" Baekhyun asks, clearly trying to stay calm with the abyss looming beneath them.

 

"I'm not sure. An actual city, maybe, or something that resembles one? At the very least it should be━"

 

One step more, and the wood gives out beneath his feet. Chanyeol lets out a cry as his leg dangles below the line of planks, barely grabbing onto the rope again in time. He feels each of the bridge's bounces as if it's his last, paralyzed with fear before Baekhyun helps hoist him back on top of it. For a long moment, they stand in place, and Chanyeol can hear his heartbeat pounding in his ears.

 

"Are you okay?" Baekhyun finally asks him.

 

"Yeah, thanks for the help. I guess I'll have to test out each plank before...Do you hear that?"

 

A barely discernible crackling sounds from somewhere nearby, and Chanyeol listens for only a few seconds before the blood drains from his face.

 

"We need to get off this bridge. Now."

 

Baekhyun must hear the urgency in his voice, because he snaps to attention immediately, hopping over the gap in the bridge to lead them as they sprint across the string of connected planks. The crackling grows louder, and Chanyeol wishes he could run faster. Fast enough to reach the ground on the other side before━

 

The ropes snap with a violent sound that echoes down the canyon. For an extended moment, the bridge seems to hang in place, and then it begins to collapse in multiple places, pieces disappearing into the fog below.

 

Chanyeol sees Baekhyun leap to safety on the other side just as the planks beneath his feet give way. He can only hold on for dear life as the last remaining section of the bridge swings toward the canyon wall, muscles screaming with the effort of supporting all his weight with a single handhold. Suddenly, death seems too close.

 

"Chanyeol!!"

 

Chanyeol looks up to see Baekhyun leaning over the edge of the canyon, looking so close but so frustratingly far away. If Chanyeol was just a few planks higher...

 

"I'm okay!" he calls up, voice straining. "I just...I don't know how long I can hold on."

 

"You’re going to be fine. I'll pull you up little by little, okay?"

 

"That's too dangerous," Chanyeol starts to argue, but Baekhyun is already shaking his head, shrugging the pack off his shoulders.

 

"You already know I'm not leaving you behind. Just hold on a minute longer."

 

Chanyeol does, his arm shaking with the effort. His heart jumps to his throat as he watches Baekhyun lean over the edge, carefully bracing himself on the top plank to reach down. With a great burst of effort, they manage to pull Chanyeol up one plank higher, one step closer to safety.

 

"Only a few more times," Baekhyun says through labored breaths. "We can do this."

 

The repeat their efforts twice, bringing Chanyeol close enough that Baekhyun can step back off the plank. He's almost there. Baekhyun reaches down to him once more, circling his arms around Chanyeol's torso, when the bridge gives out entirely.

 

Chanyeol feels weightless for the briefest moments, and then with a shout, Baekhyun heaves him up onto solid ground.

 

Chanyeol's legs buckle immediately. He collapses, spent, onto his back, feeling the sun beat down on his shaking form. It takes a few long minutes for his breathing to stabilize, adrenaline finally starting to wear off.

 

Only when he's back in control of his body does he turn to Baekhyun, who's been patiently sitting at his side. Baekhyun looks at him with equal parts worry and affection, and Chanyeol can't put his feelings into words.

 

So this is what it means to be complete.

 

~*~

 

The end of their journey comes when neither of them expects it: at daybreak. The sun is just rising over the horizon, illuminating the landscape before them, when Baekhyun spots something up ahead. It's a large outcrop of rocks, standing as tall as buildings and pressed close enough together to form what almost looks like a fortress. A small opening leads into the rocks' midst.

 

"There!" Baekhyun says, excitement quickening his footsteps. "I think we found it!"

 

Chanyeol almost wants to be skeptical to the end, but the wooden sign in front of the rocks is unmistakable: "Sanctuary". Equal parts shock and thrill run through him at that single word. So Baekhyun had been right all along, had he? That wouldn't surprise him. Baekhyun seemed to be right about everything nowadays.

 

"After you," Chanyeol tells him, and he follows Baekhyun through the gap in the rocks, stepping  into the place he's heard so much about. He scans his eyes over the well-protected clearing, dotted with caverns and crevices along its edges. This would be an ideal place to begin again, but...there's just one problem.

 

There’s nothing here. No people, no buildings, no vegetation. Nothing.

 

A frown appears on Baekhyun's face, a furrow in his brow. "We're not here to hurt you," he calls out to the rocks. "It's safe to show yourselves." But no one answers.

 

Still, there isn't total silence. Chanyeol can hear a very faint noise, one that he at first thought was the sound of the wind blowing around the rocks. It's low and menacing, almost like━

 

“Baekhyun, get back," he says, and the other reacts immediately, standing at Chanyeol's side with a hand on his holster. A shadow moves between the rocks on the opposite side of the clearing, inching closer.

 

“On my mark,” Chanyeol murmurs. He feels Baekhyun's nod more than he sees it.

 

With a roar, a creature bounds toward them, sharp-toothed and horrible. At one point in its life, it might have been some desert predator, but the carrier's infection has warped its body beyond recognition. Chanyeol moves, Baekhyun takes it as the signal, and they fire in quick succession, dropping the creature to the ground. The bullet that goes straight through its eyes isn't Chanyeol's own. The training he's given has more than paid off.

 

But then he sees the expression on Baekhyun's face, realizes the creatures' implications. Dread settles in the pit of his stomach as quickly as the anticipation had before. He can only watch as Baekhyun steps into the opening that the creature had come from, not wanting to go himself. Ignorance might almost be a better option.

 

Baekhyun comes out a short time later, blank-faced and silent. He sits on a rock at the edge of the clearing and stares into space.

 

Chanyeol knows in his heart what's happened. But he retraces Baekhyun's footsteps anyway, needing to confirm the truth he already feels. The small cave has remnants of others leaving their mark. Chanyeol finds what's left of a food stash, some discarded packs of supplies, a few miscellaneous tools tossed here and there. Nothing consequential.

 

And then he sees the bones.

 

~*~

 

_ Journal 4, Entry 174. _

_ Sanctuary ruins, Dawn. _

 

_ I'm sorry I was right. I'm sorry if my disbelief in any way led to this place not being what you hoped for. I wish I knew what to say to you to make you hurt less, to dull the pain. But there's just...so much I don't know. _

 

_ What do we do now? _

 

~*~

 

Baekhyun closes himself off to the world. He sits by himself and doesn't speak, only stares through a gap in the wall of stones with eyes that have lost their light. He looks like a ghost, cursed and tied to this place until the end of time.

 

Chanyeol spends his nights sleeping in one of the caves on the clearing's edge, but he spends his days making sure Baekhyun is taken care of. He brings him food and water, sits with him for hours on end, does everything in his power to show that he's not alone.

 

"It's going to be okay," he says over and over again, "I'm still here with you," but Baekhyun never answers.

 

On a morning like any other, Chanyeol wakes up to hear noises outside the cave. He goes out to investigate as quickly as he can stand, only to find that the source of those noises is Baekhyun himself. The other is in the middle of ripping device after device out of his pack, throwing them carelessly to the ground. When a familiar green specimen shares their same fate, Chanyeol breaks his stunned silence.

 

"What are you doing!?" he demands, just narrowly avoiding the backpack thrown out immediately after.

 

"Doing what I should have done a long time ago," Baekhyun says angrily. "It's useless if there's nowhere to bring it," and Chanyeol is torn between relief that the other is finally showing some emotion and frustration at his words.

 

"Don't you think this is a little drastic? Just because we turned out to be on the wrong trail doesn't mean it's time for us to give up everything we've worked for."

 

"This is the  _ perf _ _ ect _ time to give up, Chanyeol. Sanctuary was a lie, we have no place to go, and the whole fucking planet wants us dead, anyway. So forgive me if I don't want to waste the rest of my time taking care of a fucking  _ plant _ ."

 

"Don't talk about your time like━"

 

"If you care about it so much, then why don't  _ you _ look after it?" Baekhyun snaps at him. "Just leave me alone."

 

So Chanyeol does. He gathers the plant and as much soil as he can hold into his palm before he returns to the cave, placing it in an empty can. He’s never noticed how fragile the plant really is, small and unassuming without the buds that should be bursting with color. This isn’t ideal, not at all, but he has to do  _ something _ . It seems so wrong to throw away this last bit of hope they have.

 

~*~

 

Days continue to pass, and the silence between them grows more pronounced. Chanyeol leaves one evening to sit outside their encampment, just so he can take a few hours to breathe. The ground slopes down into the wide open plains beyond, giving him an unobstructed view of the sunset's last hurrah. Deep colors paint the sky as it begins the plunge into a darkness that's somehow not as intimidating as it should be.

 

He hears footsteps approaching before he sees Baekhyun settle into the space next to him, eyes also fixated on the setting sun. The world may be dimmer, but Chanyeol can still make out his profile illuminated by the fading light, still has his breath catch for a moment. They sit in silence as the shock of colors gives way to a canvas of stars.

 

"I'm sorry," Baekhyun finally says. "I didn't mean what I said. I'm just...angry, miserable, scared, I don't know. But I shouldn't have taken it out on you."

 

"Don't worry, it's fine," Chanyeol forgives him, even when he already has. He can hear the deep breath that Baekhyun lets out in response and wonders when the other will realize that he never has to worry about being pushed away.

 

After a moment of hesitation, Baekhyun leans his head on Chanyeol's shoulder. Chanyeol freezes for a beat longer than he should before slipping an arm around the other’s waist, worried that he’ll somehow break the spell. But Baekhyun makes no move to leave. They stay there gazing up at the constellations dotting the sky, basking in this moment of passing beauty.

 

 

~*~

 

Chanyeol wakes up the following morning with Baekhyun at his side and the weight of the world off his chest.

 

He doesn't get up immediately; it's far too easy to gaze fondly at the other's hair fanned out over the blankets, at the peaceful expression on his face. When Chanyeol does start to quietly slip away, an arm pulls him back.

 

"Stay for a while," Baekhyun insists in a voice thick with sleep.

 

"I'll admit, that was some impressive acting. Did you pretend to be asleep the whole night?"

 

"I had to, with your snoring," Baekhyun mumbles, and Chanyeol pulls him closer with a snort despite the half-hearted protests he gets in response.

 

They lay there for a few minutes longer, Chanyeol playing absently with Baekhyun's hair, until the other's face slowly grows serious.

 

"I think...I've come to terms with this," he says. There's nothing but sincerity in his voice. "It's not what I expected, but dreams can change, people can change. I'll be happy if I can just have you."

 

Chanyeol almost,  _ almost _ accepts the words, takes the easy way out. The temptation is right there in his arms. But it would be a disservice to Baekhyun to deny the truth, to settle for anything less than the other's strongest desire.

 

"That means a lot to me," he says carefully, "More than I can say. But if I know you at all, I know that's not what you want. We should keep heading in this direction until we find what we're really looking for. There has to be some place where people are rebuilding, not just a temporary shelter like this one."

 

"I don't..." Baekhyun's voice loses its confidence, matching the frown that takes over his expression. "This isn't something I can go through again. If we keep searching and find nothing, I don't think I could take it."

 

"And it's okay to be afraid, really. But once you start letting fear control you, you’ve already lost. I let my own fear drive me to an edge I nearly fell from; I couldn't live with myself if I let you make the same mistake."

 

Baekhyun gazes at him for a long moment before he finally sighs, muscles going slack. There's a surrender in his expression, but more importantly, there's trust.

 

"For someone who's terrible at talking about their feelings," Baekhyun tells him, "you really have a way with words."

 

When they kiss this time, the bond of understanding between them is the strongest it's ever been. It ties them together with an invisible ribbon, strong and true.

 

They separate much too soon. Chanyeol's head spins, but he can still see the moment Baekhyun's eyes go wide at something just over his shoulder. He starts to reach for his gun, asking worriedly, "What is it?" But it's not fear in Baekhyun's eyes, he realizes. It's awe.

 

"Chanyeol...look," Baekhyun whispers, so he does, turning his gaze to the rusty can balanced between two fallen rocks. Only then does he realize what had inspired that awe, only then does he realize the gravity of the moment.

 

The plant is blooming.

 

~*~

 

_ Journal 5, Entry 1. _

_ Wasteland, Dawn. _

 

_ I have no idea what's going to happen next. _

 

 _There, I said it. We'll keep heading west toward the path of the setting sun, looking for a place to stay and call our own_. _A true Sanctuary._ _But I know that we might never make it to our destination_. _And yet, at the same time...I've never felt this free, so full of purpose. Maybe I'm finally realizing that the destination isn't the only thing that's important._

 

_ An infinite number of unknowns lies ahead of us. We could be ambushed any second, infected without our knowledge until it's too late. We could die by traps, natural disaster, raiders, carriers, or some enemy we've never even considered. But I know for a fact that whatever dangers we face, we'll face them together. _

 

_ And I'm going to enjoy every minute of the journey. _

 

\---

 

_ Chanyeol- _

 

_ You didn't really think I was going to let you end it like this, did you? Don't worry, I promise this is the last time I open your journal without asking. I would have, really, but where's the fun in spoiling the surprise? _

 

_ No matter what happens next, I just want you to know: I love you, more than I can ever say. Thank you for taking a chance on me that day, and thank you for never giving up even when I nearly did. We're in this together until the end. That's what will keep me going even if we have to go to the end of the world and back. Should I make a toast? _

 

_ To keeping hope, to us, and to a new horizon. _

 

_ -Byun Baekhyun _

 

 

_ Fin _

 


End file.
